"Patience child, patience.  

Life is a journey.  

If you got everything you wanted all at once, there would be no point to living.  

Enjoy the ride and in the end you'll see these 'set backs' as giant leaps forward; only you couldn't see the bigger pictures in the moment.  

Remain calm, all is within reach.  

All you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek."

-Jackson Kiddard

This is for those of you out there who often times wake up feeling like they are totally and utterly lost.  I say lost because these people have made the choice to explore different life paths and take journeys that are far from the societal norm of the 9-5 job.  

Not lost because you can't seem to get your ass off the sofa and keep getting fired from every job.

What i'm talking about is from what I consider to be bravery.  Bravery to create a future without the help of any structure or system.

Lots and time and effort go into taking each step and progress seems to be only measured in results.  Often times those results don't come......

So this is for you

TRUST:

Trust is never out there.  The soul essence that we call trust resides within you.  Trust is a decision.  It is a reflection of what you have decided to believe.

Trust is not about being comfortable.  It is about being willing to move beyond your comfort zone when there is absolutely no evidence that you will be supported.  Tust is not about looking for evidence that you are doing things right every step of the way as you move toward the end result.  Trust is about keeping the end results in mind no matter what steps you have to take to get there, or how bad you feel while you are stepping.  Trust is not about the work you ahve to do in life being easy or having other people support you in getting through the work.  It is about your ability to do the hard work without losing sight of why you are doing it, when other people try to convince you that you should be doing something else.  Trust is not about getting something back for the work you do as a sign that you are doing the right ting.  It is your ability to keep doing the work even when it looks like there is nothing coming back.  Think of it this way.  Trust is based on your ability to stand your ground and rely on your own abilities, knowing that no matter what happened, you will be better off than you were at the beginning.  Anything less than this is not trust.  

Keep Trusting The Process

and ENJOY

Back on Delta on my way home from two weeks away in Baltimore and Florida.  I now have a 9th and a 13th under my belt to start off the 2012 season and managed to have such an incredible time on top of it all.  My skills are improving rapidly and I have been blessed enough to have met a mentor that is willing to help me grow whether it be through my hard work and dedication or by dragging me along kicking a screaming.  

Her name is Priscilla Lima (Pri).  Not only is she an unbelievable player but she is also an incredible person and friend.

The difference in my play between the first tournament in Baltimore and the second in Florida was day and night after just a few days training with Pri.

My partner, Sarah, and I played one match in particular that was flawless.  Our rhythm was in sync, our movements graceful and our power relentless.  I didn't realize how much of myself I had invested into that match, emotionally and mentally, until the whistle blew from the referee affirming our victory.  Immediately I was so overcome by emotion that I crumbled into Pri's arms and began to sob.  This moment will forever be one of the most memorable of my career.  It signified a turning point.  That moment, for me, was a glimpse into my future.  I now know greatness is absolutely possible.

I'm on the right track.

Next Stop: Ft. Lauderdale

I arrived here on Monday and started practice on Tuesday.  I am still learning so many new things and going through some serious growing pains training trying to put my new knowledge into actual form on the court.  It sucks.  I get so angry because I want to be perfect now!  And by now I mean like 5 days ago.  Patience is clearly not one of my strong suits.  Not to mention I am so patient with everyone else but myself, which just annoys me even more.  I think I should start being a little kinder to the number one in my life: ME!

Today's practice was insane.  It's always tough so that's not what I mean by insane.  What i'm talking about is torrential downpours and 50 mile per hour winds.  I felt like I was on some battlefield waging war on the opposing team as we went diving through the wet sand, water pelting us in the face like tiny little bbs from the force of the wind, and dirt and sand covering our sweaty bodies.  Then it turned into some bad music video with 3 girls rinsing off in the showers as the rain continued to pour over us.

Hope that was dramatic enough for all of you.

Anyways, clearly we are having a great time, causing a little bit of a scene and making some great stories that will forever be remembered by the traveling trio: Jess Gysin, Pri Lima and myself.

Tourney starts on Saturday and I have some high hopes for this one.

I Don't Even Know Where To Begin

Hi!

I'm here.

Life is crazy

Actually, I think I might actually be crazy

But that's besides the point.

I'm back to airplane food, loads of Vitamin C, water, and hotel rooms

Currently sitting on Delta headed to Baltimore for the season opener and I am getting ready to poop my pants (not literally, i'm just so nervous)

Who would think I would still be nervous playing this stupid sport?  

It's not like i've played for over a decade or anything.  

I guess the nerves are validated by the fact that I am still new to beach volleyball and I still firmly believe it should have a different name because it's a completely different sport.

Not to mention I am terrified to drop trou and play in a bathing suit.  My body is still very Beyonce-esque and I have not yet found the confidence to rock these new found curves.

But hey, I definitely have bigger fish to fry than worrying about my dimples moving from my face to my ass.

So here's to the 2012 season, getting 1% better every day, and enjoying the ride.